Natalie

Last night I had a bad night.

Some drunk idiots walked past my house swearing and shouting and scared Natalie. Natalie is another of my young alts, she is 4 year old and a timid shy little thing. She is scared of all loud noises - she calls it all "banging". Lightning, movies with guns or bombs, hammering, a sudden noise - anything loud or unexpected. Shouting however is the worst.

She cam out really upset and curled up with Ulfie - the little ones stuff toy dog. By the time she let me out it was 2:30am (2 hours had past) but she was still scared and so I couldnt go to sleep - they wouldnt let me. So I logged onto Pandys.

Pandys is short for Pandora's Aquarium, a website for survivors of sexual abuse. It has forums where people can post and a chat room. Its a great place for people who need support from others who understand. Its not run by doctors or psychologists and doesnt replace seeing one but It some where that people can find advice written by others who have been through similar experiences.

Last night I went into the chat room and talked to a few other people. It was a safe place where I could be myself and help me and my alts calm down so that we could sleep.

Natalie is finally feeling better now though she is still a bit nervous and jumpy. So we are going to have a quiet day and I am going to try get ontop of my study. And maybe we will have a special treat - like pancakes! ANd maybe a nap because we are still really tired