Meet my Alts

I thought it might be nice for you guys to have an idea of who is who when it comes to my alts. I often refer to my alts as my "little ones". So here is a bit about each of my alts and the role they play in our system

Kylie (4yo) - she is happy and playful, she is the part that remembers being a child before the bad stuff.

Natalie (4yo) - scared and timid - she gets frightened a lot especially loud noises. Natalie can sense how the others are feeling - its like an extra sense to her - she can reach out and feel where each of the other alts are inside and how each of them are feeling, if someone is triggered then Nata generally gets overwhelmed with their feelings of fear & hurt.

Katy (5yo) - Katy keeps to herself and her imaginary friend (Kasey). She is much like the 4yo though a little more introverted. She is just as playful and cheerful but prefers quieter games to the 4yo

Torry (5yo) - Jazzie's little brother, in his own way he is a protector, especially of the other little ones. He will stand up for them if he thinks one of the older alts or someone on the outside is giving them a hard time. Been around as long as Jazzie has and like Jazz chose to stay hidden from me for the past two years.

Kylie (6yo) - is almost always sad  she and Natalie get triggered the most. 6yo is one of my main "memory holders".

Julia (7yo) - a friend and helper to everyone inside. Julia rarely comes out by herself but is often co-concious when a younger alt is out - she will help them use the computer - reading things for them and typing where needed. If the "bigs" want to have a meeting then Julia will be the one to take the little to the play room or the garden and distract them.

Kylie (7yo) -our secret keeper. She keeps us safe by not breaking "the rules". Though she makes therapy hard. the 7yo doesnt talk ever. she signals with her hands but never says a word. Another "memory holders".

The Twins - same age, same name, but complete opposites. however they are really close, also both are "memory holders".
Kylie (little 8yo) - completely passive. She will go out of her way to make someone happy, even if it hurts her.
Kylie (big 8yo) - always angry. For a long time  I couldnt get angry, even now I struggle to get angry. But the big 8yo does it for me. She hold the anger and outrage at what happened to us.

Kylie (10yo) - she doesnt come out much, she is there to love and comfort and mother the little ones. She doesnt act like a 10 yo but if you ask her her age thats what she always says.

Kylie (12yo) - Hates men, is opionated, she is the part of me that doesnt care what people think and just wants to be her. She is the part of me that wants to act out and be rebel. She's not bad just wants to have fun and live life. She's the one who wants me to take risks. She is a "memory holder" too but not as much as some of the others. She remembers the bad stuff that happened after we grew up.

Nadia (16yo) - deaf & mute, she cares very little about the world and just focuses on her art. Which is so different from anything we do - hers are all black & white felt tip pen, just complete detailed patterns. She also writes poetry - she is probably my most artistic part, though most of us love art.

Jazzie(19yo) -  She is confident and generally a lot more positive than I am, she is also very strong willed and an individual. She helps look after the young ones inside giving lots of cuddles. She was around for 2 years before I knew anything about her. I used to think she was a lot like me, and in some ways she is but Jazzie is a lot more of an extrovert than I am. She will give you the blunt truth you need to hear - great part of me to ask "does my bum look big in this"

Jessica (25 yo) - promiscuous. She loves men and woman and isnt interested in much else other than sexual stuff. She scares a lot the little ones. In a way she is a protector, even if we dont agree on her method of protection. She thinks that if she hits on guys and has sex with them then she can remain in control and they cant hurt us by forcing us.

Stacy (33yo) - she is my organiser, she keeps track of everyone, cooks when I cant come out, makes sure everyone inside follows our rules. I dont think I could get day to day stuff done without Stacy.

Elsie (ageless) - is full of peace and tranquility. It took me a while but I finally found out that Elsie is an Elfling - sorta like an elf but smaller and more in tune with Nature - so she says. If asked her age she is confused by the concept - she doesnt have an age, she is "ageless". She helps calm my alts when it is needed and when she is close I often feel very calm - she doesn't get rid of the other emotions just its like her presence overwhelms the negative emotions for a time. If someone is triggered while we are out of the house (such as at a shopping center) she can sometimes help us stay calm enough to get to a safe place

Sasha (Little - age unknown) -  Sasha is also elfling - but only partly. She is also part fox and part Temminck's Golden Cat (aka Asian Golden Cat). Inside she can change forms to an animal but mostly she is Elfling with some fur and a tail. The whole thing is very strange and new to me and I find it disconcerting that she isnt human. Her age is also confusing - her mind is Elfling for the most part and so she is also ageless but the animal part of her is still young - she calls her self a "kit". Sasha ensures our basic needs are met - food, water, shelter, warmth, sleep. For instance - when we are having a bad day I don't always notice if our body is hungry - Sasha will ensure that on days like that we eat. I find it interesting that Sasha made herself known when we first started getting sick (beginning of 2010) - I guess its when we needed her to take control & ensure those basic needs were met.

Shadow (unknown) - male alt. At first I was under the impression that he was a child, but it seems he is a teen. He keeps to himself and is very shy, according to Elsie he is very conflicted - strong & confident and yet scared & shy. When I ask any of the younger alts about him the answer is always "He is just the shadow"

Sage (12 years old) - loves to read anything and everything - she enjoys learning and knowledge. Because of that she seems older than 12 years old and yet the way she thinks sometimes, her innocence makes her seem younger. She turned up not long after I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue (2010) along with her 2 sisters, since then her sisters have disappeared but Sage has stayed.

Laila (unknown) - a new part (feb '11) Don't know much about her except that she is nocturnal. She seems to be like Sasha & Elsie, as in not completely human but I am not sure yet as I haven't spoken to her much yet. I will update this when I know more

I posted about the roles each of my alts play here
If you are interested in a map of inside, we did do a post on it which can be found here.