Its been far too long...

Wow its been a very long time since I have posted. Everyday I think I should update that its been while & then I dont do it immediately & the thought slips away. I hadn't realised how long it really had been until I logged on this morning.

I am still struggling with Chronic Fatigue. I sleep more than I am awake and even when I am awake I feel like I should be in bed sleeping. It is frustrating and leaves me feeling very negative. Last week I was checking Post Secret and found a secret that I really related to:

It summed up how I have been feeling for the past few months so well that I wanted to cry. I have been watching friends graduate from university, getting married, having babies, starting families, traveling - all the while getting out of bed feels like a huge accomplishment! I know I shouldn't compare myself to others - every persons journey is different and life isn't a race. However my life feels so empty and I feel so helpless to change it.

Since seeing it I have been trying to figure out how I can give my life more meaning while I have Chronic Fatigue. I am still working on it but one thing I wanted to do was revive this blog - to me its something, a way to reach out to the world, I guess.

The things getting me through has been my online friends - mostly from the gaming world and music. I rarely don't have music filling my home - so many different artists and genres that I cannot begin to list.


Other Updates:

Rascal is a healthy little cat who is growing up so fast. After that horrible night I was able to take him home & he recovered quite fast. He still takes after his name.

Charlie is still the loving little dog he has always been. He gets over excited and jumps all the time - I feel bad for him - I have no energy to take him for walks - some days I struggle to walk to my back gate. But his love and forgiveness has no end - I think we sometimes should take a leaf out of a dogs book and maybe we would have a kinder, more loving world.

Alts and DID - still here and still apart of my everyday life, but a full update will have to wait - hopefully tomorrow.

Rascal is at the Vet

When I woke up this morning Rascal was not himself - he was quiet and huddling in a corner. Then I found blood in his stool. I took him to the vet who thought it might be Rat poison but I dont keep it - but he has got out once or twice.

The vet just called me and said the blood tests came back and its not rat poison but he isnt sure what it is. He is treating rascal for a number of possibilities including worms. I dont know. I am worried about him. I know it wasnt convient how I got him but I do care for him. I hope he is ok.

Natalie is particularly upset. She was very attached to Rascal - all the alts are upset/worried to different levels but Natalie has been effected the most. I dont know if she will handle it if he doesnt make it.

For now we its just waiting to see if he survives the night.

Photos of Charlie & Rascal

Here are some more photos of Charlie and Rascal (the new kitten)

They seem to be coming fast friends:

And enjoy playing together:

it can be very crazy sometimes. I will try to get a video together.

After playing they tend to collapse together and sleep soundly:

Until the next play time!!

Will try to write a proper post soon.

Add a kitten to the mix

I lost most of yesterday and when I came out I found a kitten in my house! I dont have a cat (well I didnt) and finding a kitten and all the things one needs for a kitten (food, kitty litter, toys, scratching post etc.) was a huge shock.

I knew the littles wanted a cat but I had said no! They spent around AU$200 on the kitten and stuff for the kitten. I am not sure what to do. At this rate I think I will keep it but I am worried that the littles will think that it means doing stuff like this is ok and its not.

I am going to write down a list of rules that everyone has to agree to. Something we can refer back to - at the moment we have rules but we just remember them - I am hoping having them written down and having all the littles agree to it will help stop something like this happening again. Kinda like a contract.

Here is a photo of the kitten with Charlie, my Cavalier King Charlies Spaniel cross. They seem to get along well and like playing.

Now to think of a name for the little boy. At the moment we are thinking Rascal - what does everyone think? have any ideas for a good name?
Here are some other contenders in no particular order

• Hobbes
• Tiger
• Rebel
• Griffin
• Orion