Not Coping

Not coping. feeling bad. Just want to cry. Everything feels too hard. Trying not to cut. Jazzie wont talk to anyone - except Kyle - and I am not even sure if she would do that today.
Kyle wont answer on MSN. feel so alone. really want to cut.
Most inside not doing well. Falling apart. its too hard.

Triggered

Its been a crazy weekend. I didnt do anything special to celebrate Easter - though I did take the time to thank God - since that is what Easter is about. For the most part I missed most of the weekend. I have been losing alot of time and been really triggered lately but I am not sure about what.

Its been getting so bad that SH has been on my mind again, I hate even admitting it since its been at least 2 years since I have. I thought I was past this. I hate that I dont even know what is triggering me.

I have considered the possibility that maybe its someone inside getting triggered and its affecting me hense why I cant figure out what is causing it. What ever it is I hope it settles soon.

It is really upsetting my sleep and so I am not getting as much as I was but I am still sick so my energy levels are worst than ever and now I have a splitting headache. Why cant things just go well for me?!

I dont know that I want to post this but I decided I was going to be honest as possible on this blog and not posting this seems to be as bad as lying so here it is.