Monday, May 3, 2010


I am feeling much better, not the energy levels but I am no longer seriously sick from the meds. Still a bit queasy but I can handle that. The past 4 nights I have only been taking half a tablet (as instructed by my doctor) tonight we go up to a full tablet. I'm seriously hoping that this wont make the nausea come back.

Dr Parkin - the physican I have been refered to - receptionist called today and asked if I wanted to move my appointment forward a day (so I would see him tomorrow instead of Wednesday) I decided not to since I have an appointment with Margaret on tommorrow evening to figure out ways to deal with the anxiety of a new male doctor.

The littles have been really getting into Sims 2 (and most of the expansions) over the last few days. I have never really got the game myself - I find it a bit boring however they seem to love it. I find it interesting that parts of me have completely different tastes to me.

They even have different beliefs which I struggle with. I am a Christian but most of my parts arent. Jessica actually is against Christianity - but then her lifestyle choice would be to sleep with whoever (boys and girls) and never settle down which isnt really what the bible teaches.

I think of my alts each as individuals most of the time and I struggle when talking to my psychologist about them being parts of me. I realise intellectually they are but they feel so seperate and they think so differently that its hard to consider them anything but seperate.

Despite all the difference I have come to love each of them though it has taken me awhile - particularly with the more difficult parts like the older 8yo. Its rather ironic but I have come to accept that while DID makes me appear to society as crazy it is infact DID that kept me from losing it when all the crap happened. This was the way my young mind coped.


Sunshine and Shadows said...

I'm glad you are starting to feel better.

Telstaar said...

Hey Kit,

I love how you speak about your alts... I only just discovered names for some of mine. I am realising more and more how much I am still fighting with the whole concept... I still feel like I am making it up... I am still squashing various alters (well most of them really unless they are extremely dominant)... I don't know much about them, I can tell a tiny bit about their general character but I don't know much about THEM... it's hard cause I kinda wnat to know more, but I don't want to be making up things either and that is what I fear I am doing. I also think that maybe me trying to keep myself together is exactly what is causing me to fall apart... I think the next few months will be interesting.

Love you xo

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